Joy

Oh heavens, it has been quite some time since I have written anything, hasn't it?! Things have changed, my heart is in a beautiful place. God's blessings are endless and I am diving into his goodness and grace. As I prepare for a *weekend off* I was scrolling through instagram and stopped and opened the page of a complete stranger. I began to look at all the edited and enhanced photo's of her beautiful life and children. I started to feel envy and jealous begin to creep into my mind. Pish posh. These bright, vivid square photos on my iphone screen are nothing to be jealous of. It took me about 1.3 seconds to remember the photo that is the background of my computer screen at work right now. I minimized all 6 of my screens and started at the picture of the biggest blessing in my life and his precious nephew who I already love and adore. As I looked at this photo, I realized that the smile on my face is real- its genuine and it's here to stay. I've had some "be careful" and "are you sure" questions from my dear, caring friends and family as I embarqued on this new relationship with my sweet Zachary. The most impactful conversation that solidified this happiness was had with my mom. Mama knows best, always. She knew me two years ago, and she knew Zach two years ago. She saw my hurt and at my very worse. She saw how he and I were not at the point in our lives that being together was going to be healthy. Actually, every time we were together seemed to cause some havoc in one way or another (sorry babe, but it's true) :). As her and I dove into meaninful conversation following her visit to Columubus, where Zach joined us last minute, she was speechless. She made that noise she does with her lips when she has no words and is near shock. She said to me how beautiful I was inside and out and how happy she can see I am. She told me how much I deserved his genuine, kind-hearted love. She told me she was *jealous*, but that she wouldn't want anyone but me to end up with someone and wonderful as him. She said "wow" over and over again, continuing to making that silly noise with her lips. She quickly asked the next time he could see him and "what happens now". What happens now? What a question... I live and love and be happy. The last several months have literally been life changing and I am so blessed and thankful for the next journey. Dear friends, remember that God knows what He is doing- always. He is always in control and he always has your best interest as his first priority. He's doing work and mending things in that beautiful life of yours and when your heart is ready, He'll give you all the happiness you'll ever need. A happiness that far surpassess those edited instagram photos you're staring out. Be bless, my loves.